This morning was bad.
A week’s worth of stomach bug, Christmas aftermath, dirty house, empty refrigerator, baby proofing and boo boos culminated in a mild freak out as I rushed out the door, late again. But this time I wasn’t just late…I was late and the baby hadn’t been fed, I felt like a woozy, pukey mess, and I had succumbed to wearing my bedroom slippers to school.
(and they’re not even tied!)
It was one of those I FAIL AT LIFE moments.
And it hit me hard.
Because I interpret I FAIL AT LIFE a lot more specifically.
To me “fail at life” means fail at MOTHERHOOD and HOMEMAKING and don’t forget TEACHING, my actual “job.”
I was mean to my hubby as I shoved out the door and showed up to our babysitter in tears. For some reason, I can’t hide my true self in front of her and she looked at me understandingly and sympathetically. I know she knows… sometimes it just SUCKS.
“It” being working and mommying and being sick and somehow trying to juggle it all without embarrassingly dropping a few balls or at least shedding a few tears.
How do we–the collective group of working mommies–do it? And more importantly, WHY do we think it’s possible? Who told us it was not only do-able, but enjoyable? Where did this myth begin? Not to be discouraging to those trying to make it work, but right now I feel like shouting from the roof tops–it’s not possible, people!! We can’t do it all! I feel like there is no way to keep food in the house (much less on the table), dirt off the floors, money in the bank, AND a happy daddy, baby, and mommy.
If there is a way, someone, please fill me in because I am struggling here. I know I have a tendency to go to the extremes with things, but I know I am not alone in feeling this way. I can’t be. And if I am, that just means I fail at life even more (and please feel free to leave comments expressing not that I’m not a failure, but that I am not alone).
As I opened the fridge on my way out the door, looking for something to eat or drink besides ginger ale and applesauce I couldn’t help but think, what happened to “live in the moment and make it beautiful? How am I supposed to make this moment beautiful?”
And then I remembered AJH’S boo boo yesterday. She closed her fingers in a drawer and got a few little cuts across her hand. She cried for a few seconds and then patiently watched as we put Neosporin and band aids on her fingers.
She was mesmorized by the new friends on her hand.
And minutes later she was riding her school bus, happier than ever.
So once again, it is my nine-month old baby that teaches me the greatest lesson of my life.
We fall down.
We get boo boos.
We hurt. We cry for a second. We contemplate. And then we get back up.
We jump on the school bus and smile.
Someone once said, it is only when we fail to get back up that we truly fail.
My boo boo is already feeling better.
8 thoughts on “Worthy Wednesday: Mommy’s got a boo boo”
Ahhhhh, the truth in this post is brillant! I love it…really. Thank you, Priscilla. You make me smile if that makes you feel any better.
And PS – the picture of AJH looking at her band-aids…amazing!
Your morning is the story of my life. It's crazy, it's hectic, it's a wild ride to say the least. You just do it, take a deep breath, and pray to Go everyone makes it to point A in one piece.
You are definitely not alone. This morning I was late AGAIN getting Sofia to school on time. Her lunch was baked beans, yesterday it was leftover pizza. The cat threw up right before I left and I had to leave it only partially cleaned. I bounced 6 checks last week! It's hard to do it all, much less do it all perfectly. Teaching your daughter to allow the imperfect beautiful mess of it all will be one your greatest gifts to her.
Love the post! That just goes to show we can learn from our children too. It's okay to run out in you slippers sometimes. I do it too. Hope your feeling better. 🙂
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Simply stated – you are NOT alone. And you are doing exactly what you need to do to keep yourself sane. You're NOT putting on a face that everything is good. You're NOT hiding behind your emotions. You ARE writing about it and you ARE honest with yourself and your family. Just take a deep breath and live in the moment, no matter how difficult. No one is perfect dear and that is what makes all of us beautiful.
So inspirational! These children can teach us the greatest lessons life has to offer.
I swear it is something in the air this week – YOU ARE NOT ALONE – I am having the same week you are. 🙂 My motto is "PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION" as no one is perfect. The great thing about kids is too that they do not notice what we perceive as our imperfections and failures, no they just love us unconditionally and they see our love and care and kindness toward them. 🙂 We are all blessed!
Awww…its okay…life happens…keep your chin up and know you are doing your best…and your best will have to be enough (which Im sure it is right). :0)
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Have a blessed Thursday!!